

Manchester United 8-2 Arsenal: The Nadir, if We’re Lucky.
By: jg | August 28th, 2011Laconic: We did not get any points this weekend.
Reality: I would say that this is just about the darkest day in the history of Arsenal Football Club.

That turd is smiling 'cause he's a Spurs fan.
When I write my match reports, I usually start on them during the match, in order to save time and get more info and thoughts on the match written down before I lose them. By around the 75th minute, I usually have a working title that captures the overall theme of the match. By around the 75th minute, the working title for this one was “Can it get any worse?” I quickly had to scrap that because, indeed, things DID get worse. I also didn’t want to jinx this team in case something truly horrendous could happen in the future, like if we don’t win the CL or something. Another working title was “Fuck This”, but inserting profanity into page titles that get Twitter and search engine hits is generally frowned upon at the Offside. So I chose the title you see at the top of the page.
Well, there we have it. This is the performance and face of a team that has been deprived of two of its best players, and failure to adequately replace them. A team with known defensive issues and injury problems, and failure to adequately address them. A team that so far, has been utterly abject when it comes to creating chances and creativity, and failure to adequately fix that. This is the result of Arsene Wenger, Ivan Gazidis, and the Board utterly failing to do what matters most- strengthening the squad when the squad needs strengthening in critical times like these.
For the most part, most of my anger and disappointment is not directed at the players- yes, a lot of the performances by our players this season so far have been far from good. Far from acceptable, even. But we knew this. Expected it, for the more cynical among us. When you start a game at Old Trafford with Francis Coquelin and Armand Traore on the pitch, you know you’re not going to get a footballing spectacle from Arsenal.
Hence the title. This SHOULD be the nadir for Arsenal Football Club, if we’re lucky. Hopefully this will spur Arsene Wenger and the board to make the required purchases and get this behind us as fast as we can. In two weeks time, we will play Swansea City at home and we better play a completely different line-up than the one that played today. We better see some new faces. Faces that are older than 17 years old and have more than 8 caps for their previous clubs. We knew that getting a positive result from this match, was going to be very, very tough, but only the most sado-masochistic among us expected this travesty. This is our worst league result in over 100 YEARS. This is also, of course, the worst result in Arsene Wenger’s reign at Arsenal. And I don’t think he’s going to have much time to top himself, because I feel his time is running out.

Finding pictures of this match was too painful, so I'm going to show you funny pics of cute animals.
I’m not going to go into too much detail about the match proceedings, because I’m pretty sure most of you caught the gist of what happened. Manchester United physically, footbally, mentally, and emotionally outplayed us from beginning to end. We were, for the most part, a nervous wreck for the 90 minutes.
The first goal was a travesty. Djourou was just completely walked upon by Welbeck who took the slightest of touches to get it past Szczesny. A bit later, Walcott was fouled by Evans in the box and, surprise surprise, Howard Webb called a penalty for us. It was a way to get back in the match and regain some of our lost confidence, so of course van Persie shot weakly to the ground so De Gea could be a hero and tip it wide. A minute later, a United attack led to Traore heading it straight to Young, who stepped inside Coquelin and shot an absolutely brilliant shot that Szcz had no chance on. 2-0.
United missed some easy chances later, but 5 minutes before HT United got a FK just outside the box and Rooney smashed it into the top left corner. 3-0. It was looking pretty bad at that point, but thankfully seconds before the HT whistle, Walcott got on the end of a pass and shot it between De Gea’s legs. 3-1, and a result that gave the smallest spark of hope.
After the restart, Arsenal began a 10-12 minute spell where they really threatened united and started playing like the better team. Only, the goals did not come. van Persie first timed it straight into De Gea when he had time to bring down the ball, and Arshavin went on two great runs only to shoot it weakly out or into De Gea’s hands. A few minutes later, Wenger took off our CM, Coquelin, for an attacking Winger, AOC. Bad mistake. Rooney soon scored from another free-kick, a brilliant one too, and the team just crumbled. Like a really flaky, soft cookie. 4-1 Completely crumbled. Nani scored a few minutes later when no one even tried to mark him or challenge him. 5-1. Park soon scored 3 minute later from a soft shot in the box that no one in our side tried to block. 6-1. van Persie soon made his amends for the penalty miss with a great volley from a good Jenkinson cross later, but by then, the damage was done. 6-2. Nearing the final ten minutes, Jenkinson was sent off, Walcott conceded a penalty, and of course Rooney converted to complete his hat-trick. 7-2. Finally, in injury time, Ashley Young scored another fantastic goal with a scrumptious curler that ended into the top corner. 8-2. When Howard Webb finally and mercifully blew the whistle, the Arsenal Nation felt like Luke Skywalker after the Emperor was done electro-torturing him. Or like the toys from Toy Story 3, only this time the Little Green Aliens didn’t save them and they just burned to death in the incinerator. Or like the Dude and Walter when Donny dies. Take your pick. FT, 8-2.
Fuck the stats, at least for today. Man United dominated us, plain and simple. Whether or not we got more corners than them doesn’t make a difference.
On to the ratings:
Szczesny: 6 He was let down by his defense for the first two goals, and although he could have done more for Rooney’s first goal, it was an expertly taken free-kick that he had very little chance of saving in the first place. As our 10 minute spell of playing well ended, he got down well to save some certain goals from Nani and Cleverley. Then the 4th came in and he just gave up. I don’t blame him.
Jenkinson: 4.5 Bless him, he tried. Turns out Manchester’s United left side attackers are on a whole different level than Udinese’s. Evra and Young completely tore poor Carl apart throughout the match, and you could tell by the shouting he and Walcott were exchanging as early as the 21st minute that he wasn’t taking it very well. Got himself sent off (a second yellow, thankfully) for heroically denying that stupid Pea a one-on-one with Szcz on the 77th minute. He looked pretty distraught as he walked down the tunnel, which just shows how much heart he has for Arsenal. It was very much an experience for him, but hopefully one that he’ll learn from.
Djourou: 3.5 Completely outmatched by United’s attackers. Was clearly at fault for the first goal and later on conceded the free-kick that led to United’s fourth and dashed any faint hopes we had of making a heroic comeback. To be blunt, he was absolutely horrible today and I’m not sure how much better he is than Squillaci. He played very well for about 3-4 months last season but after that, I have to say he’s been fairly mediocre. Once you get past Vermaelen and Sagna, most of our defenders just aren’t up for it. Reinforcements, please.
Koscielny: 5 The best of a atrocious bunch, although that isn’t saying much. Djourou was more to blame for the opening goal but Kosicelny didn’t do any better. Was more or less outstretched by United’s front line as he sought to correct his fellow defender’s wrongdoings. Made some expertly executed tackles to deny Pea several goalscoring chances, and that’s always a plus in my book. Needs Vermaelen by his side to truly fulfill his potential and ability.
Traore: 3 I hope that he never plays for Arsenal ever again. There I said it. In my opinion, the worst of the 4 defenders and that’s saying a LOT. Nani acted as if he didn’t have a left-back too go up against as he completely dominated our left side all match long. His half-hearted headed clearance led to the 2nd goal, and he was completely anonymous near the end as United got their flurry of goals. He offered nothing going forward and at 21, you could say he isn’t going to get any better, as opposed to Jenkinson, who still has a learning curve. And there are some saying he was grinning come FT. Despicable. He makes me miss Clichy.
Coquelin: 6.5 Man of the Match Gets the MOTM honor for being on the pitch and only see us concede 3 goals. Was being hyped up when it became clear he was going to start this one, and I thought he did pretty well. Composed on the ball, although his final distribution was still lacking, but at the same time his presence more or less stopped United from completely and absolutely running us over. Getting subbed for AOC just as we were getting back into the game has to go down as one of Wenger’s worst tactical decisions he’s ever made, though.
Ramsey: 5.5 He needs to learn how to shoot. He had the ball in promising situations at least twice and instead of pulling the trigger, he dilly dallied and lost the ball. Other than that, fairly average. Couldn’t cope with United’s players but at the same time no one else couldn’t, either. Will get better as he plays more, I hope.
Rosicky: 6 Helped Coquelin throughout the game, which was very nice and led to the Frenchman’s assured performance. An acceptable performance and was one of our better players, which isn’t saying much.
Walcott: 6 He won the penalty and scored deep into first-half injury time, which was good. Then he disappeared as United started scoring them like candy until he re-appeared in the final stages to give up a penalty as Evra took a tumble from his challenge.
Arshavin: 5.5 Should have been sent off for a challenge on Young in the first half. Had at least two chances in the second half to pull it back to 3-2. He missed them both and we lost 8-2 instead. This is the result of almost no competition among the first-team players. Arshavin was one of the most dangerous inside forwards in the world when we signed him 3 years ago. What the hell happened?
van Persie: 6 We really needed our captain to come to us today, so when he missed that penalty by carelessly trying to slot it weakly into the center-left, you knew things were going to go bad for us. That goal would have made it 1-1 and although we likely would have still lost, you have to say that goal would at least have changed the course of the game and improved our fledgling confidence. Missed a couple of other chances as well and was generally out of the game for the most part. Did score a really nice volley to make it 6-2, though.
Subs:
Oxlade-Chamberlain: N/A The AOC came on for Coquelin a little bit after the hour mark and that completely destroyed our game, I’m afraid. Of course, none of that is AOC’s fault so I’ll just go on and say that it was nice to see him finally make his debut. That being said, he was pretty anonymous throughout the time he was there but you could blame that on our overall state of affairs today more than anything.
Chamakh: N/A Came on near the end for van Persie. Didn’t really do anything, other than lose the ball twice in one minute. Totally expected from him, but doesn’t warrant a rating.
Lansbury: N/A Came on at the same time for Walcott. Didn’t do anything.
Away Fans: 10 Fans of the Match It’s safe to say that, after a pretty rough 2011 overall so far for Arsenal fans, they were more than entitled to be very displeased and angry at the turn of events for this club and to express that displeasure on the stands during our games. Indeed, during our dour 0-0 opening draw at Newcastle, chants of “Spend some F****** money” were very clearly shouted by the Arsenal fans. But for this match, I have to say the away fans were utterly fantastic. Even at 0-3 down, they kept shouting their lungs off in their efforts to encourage their players- indeed, I dare say our 10 minute spell of good play early on in the second half was directly related to our away fans’ efforts to galvanize their players. Class acts all along. I’ve read reports that captain Robin van Persie made every Arsenal player go out to the fans at the full time whistle and thank them. They sure as hell deserved it.
Arsene Wenger: 3.5: He gets that 3.5 for everything he did up to 2006. He is the best manager in the history of the club, and his efforts to revolutionize the club and successes when it came to trophies must be applauded. However, his gross underappreciation for signing experienced players ever since Henry, Gilberto, Toure, Adebayor, Gallas, Cesc and Nasri left has resulted in this: a mess of a team that has more injured and suspended players than available ones and has to feature 5 reserve players in a crunch match against our hated rivals. I don’t give two flying shits about how experienced signings would have hindered the development of our youth players. Traore sucks. Frimpong is too naive. Djourou sucks most of the time. Ramsey, Jenkinson, and AOC looked lost today, without the guidance of a true veteran in their respective positions to guide them and shape them into top-class players. Look at Alex Ferguson. Just look at him, Arsene. Today, the average age of his side was younger than ours. And they won 8-2, just to remind you. Why is that, Arsene? Could it be that while they made sure to buy promising youth, they also had top-class, veteran players to help guide them and mold them into future superstars? Carl Jenkinson and Ignasi Miquel have only Sagna and Vermaelen to look up to. Smalling, Jones, the twins- they have Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, Evra, Giggs, etc. THAT is how you win with kids. You have until Wednesday to try to clean up the mess and sign players that will help us compete again and not be a laughingstock again. I don’t even want to think what will happen if our only subsequent purchase is Park Chu-Young, for your sake.
We all know what can go a long way towards fixing our troubles: going out there and getting some top class players. Wenger and the club have the money. Do they have the will? We have until Wednesday to find out.
This has been a very traumatizing result and day for us Arsenal fans, so if I may make a little suggestion, it’s that you all do something relaxing and non-Arsenal related for the rest of the day, after reading this. Go out for a walk, if you’re not in the Northeastern United States. Eat a fluffy cupcake, or some pancakes. If you have a spouse and/or kids, go play with them. Listen to Kanye, or Led Zeppelin, or Pink Floyd. Watch some South Park. And most of all, Have a good Sunday!
Some Related Stories:
-
Samrin
-
Sport Download
-
Andylowe14
-
dave
-
Andylowe14
-
brenton
-
brenton
-
Sophie
-
brenton
-
Sophie
-
brenton
-
Sophie
-
Bertrand
-
sb
-
brenton
-
FredJacob
-
brenton
-
FredJacob
-
brenton
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Gigi_man
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Gigi_man
-
Gigi_man
-
brenton
-
brenton
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
will
-
mtuwetu
-
Bertrand
-
caligunner
-
Tfyoung
-
evaldo
-
Gunnerlurker
-
JG
-
FredJacob
-
Anonymous
-
Rickey_banks
-
Homey_Mills
-
Kxevin
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Homey_Mills
-
Kxevin
-
Ryan
-
Gigi_man
-
brenton
-
Ryan
-
Perry S.
-
Gigi_man
-
Bertrand
-
Bertrand
-
87
-
Bertrand
-
Bertrand
-
Homey_Mills
-
Bertrand
-
orion
-
brenton
-
FredJacob
-
Kas123
-
Bertrand
-
will
-
Bertrand
-
thechaikid
-
will
-
Richmoments
-
Patoux21
-
ASDF
-
Patoux21
-
Perry S.
-
No Lies
-
Bertrand
-
ASDF
-
Bertrand
-
ASDF
-
Perry S.
-
bobj canada
-
Francis Loughlin
-
formos
-
Homey_Mills
-
Gunnerson
-
Homey_Mills
-
Bertrand
-
Bertrand
-
Bertrand
-
Joker from espnsuckernet
-
formos
-
JG
-
formos
-
ASDF
-
Homey_Mills
-
john











