Portsmouth Preview; Making Fun of Chelsea’s New Shirts

By: Martin | May 1st, 2009

Portsmouth

Current Position: 14th, 9-11-14 (38 points, -15 goal differential)

Home Form: 7-3-7

Recent Form: DDWLD

Last Meeting: Arsenal 1-Portsmouth 0 (12/28/08)

Chelsea Watch: Fulham

Back in action tomorrow as we travel down to the coast to play Portsmouth. First off, make no mistake–this is not going to be an easy win. Not at all. Portsmouth have actually been pretty good at home this season, and since Paul Hart has taken over, they’ve been playing very well, and have only lost to Chelsea and United during that time. Furthermore, they’ve got a lot to play for–they’re playing to stay in the Premiership next season. A win tomorrow would basically seal it for them, and don’t think they wouldn’t love to do it against a big team in front of their home fans.

As for us? Well, not so much. We’re 10 points ahead of Villa for 4th place, and have a far superior goal differential. So, basically, to overtake us, Villa would have to win out, and we’d have to either lose all four remaining matches or lose three and draw the remaining match. I think we’re safe. The only thing we really have left to play for in the league is trying to overtake Chelsea for 4th place.

We’re 6 points behind the Blues with 4 to play. One of those is a head-to-head at the Emirates. Even if we assume we will win that game, we would still need to make up 3 points in 3 games. Chelsea’s 3 games over that span: Fulham, Blackburn, at Sunderland. Meanwhile, we have: at Portsmouth, at Manchester United, Stoke. Based on what we saw Wednesday, you’d have to say it’s unlikely we’re bringing 3 points back from Old Trafford. If we don’t, that means Chelsea only has to get 4 points out of its remaining 3 games to finish 3rd, and it’s hard to see them not doing that. Look, stranger things have happened, but . . . not many. Frankly, 3rd is a pipe dream at this point, and our focus really needs to be on trying to put out United on Tuesday.

Because of this, I expect we’ll see a LOT of squad rotation tomorrow. I really think most of the key players will be rested. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d expect to see Denilson, Bendtner, Vela, Eboue, Ramsey, and maybe more get a start or see some significant time on the pitch.

As I said, Portsmouth has really come together and has been playing well. David James is a solid if overrated keeper, Glen Johnson is a very good right-back, and Peter Crouch is the kind of tall target-man type striker that can give us a lot of problems on balls into the box. They’ve got a solid backline anchored by Sylvain Distin and former Gunner hero Sol Campbell. They play a single striker formation, and will be looking to keep us from dominating possession and trying to nick a goal on the counterattack. The key for us will be to keep them from picking out Crouch around the goal.

As I said, there’s going to be a lot of rotation, so who knows who will suit up tomorrow. Because of that, trying to predict a lineup is a pretty futile exercise. But futility hasn’t stopped me from wasting thousands of dollars on women throughout the years, and it won’t stop me now:

Almunia

Sagna-Toure-Djourou-Gibbs

Eboue-Fabregas-Ramsey-Denilson

Bendtner-Vela

I could be completely wrong–maybe Wenger will put out a stronger side than that, but as far as I’m concerned, our one and only focus at the moment needs to be preparing for United on Tuesday. We shall see.

In lighter news, Chelsea revealed their new home shirts for 09/10 today. And…well, see for yourself:

I know The Offside is a friendly blogging community, so I don’t want to go overboard trashtalking other teams, but I have to say: what the hell? What are all those little lines that look like the outline of a sports bra? That looks ridiculous. Not to nerd out on you too bad, but it reminds me more than anything of the undershirt/overshirt combo that characters on Battlestar Galactica wear:

Very questionable. If I was a Chelsea fan I wouldn’t wear this, and wouldn’t be happy that my team was wearing it. I’m no fashion expert, but the lines that only go on the shoulders and the bottom of the sleeves are pretty stupid looking as well. And are those zippers on the collars–are they going to be unzipping a little after the game to show off some chest hair? And, last but not least, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that I find the mini-”popped collars” to be an exquisite touch. They should have just gone all out with it:

+1 to whoever designed this. Seriously, Chelsea fans, if you’re reading this, what do you think? I’m not trying to go out of my way to pick on you, but this shirt is really bad, right? Or am I just crazy and bitter because you knocked us out of the FA Cup and are going to hold us off for 3rd place? Why do they always have to go and mess with this stuff–what’s wrong with the classic Chelsea blue and white shirt?

This post has gone a long way off course since it started, and I have no idea how to end it. Oh, right, I remember:

Come on Arsenal.